On a visit to the dentist in the early 2010s, we discovered that my mother had a tumour in her mouth. Apparently, she’d had the tumour growing in her right cheek for at least two years. When asked—with utter disbelief, might I add—why she never brought it up in front of the family or any doctor over the previous years, my mother’s response was, “I didn’t know how to explain to the doctor that I bit my cheek accidentally and the wound grew into a bulge, and then a tumour. And I didn’t tell any of you because I thought you’d all worry about me!”
Truth be told, these excuses simply shouldn’t hold when it comes to your health. Truth be told, many women—and not just my mother—still do come up with excuses like these instead of communicating clearly with their doctors and caregivers. The driving force behind this can be everything from shame and fear to believing your health isn’t a priority compared to the rest of the family’s. In my mother’s case, thankfully, the tumour was benign and a simple surgical procedure as well as a few weeks’ recuperation solved the issue. Many women, however, aren’t this lucky. This is why visiting the doctor regularly and learning how to communicate properly with them is critical. How you speak to your doctor directly correlates with the treatment you receive, and nothing determines health outcomes like a good doctor-patient relationship in the age of pandemics, epidemics and chronic diseases.
What Stops Women From Communicating Clearly
One of the biggest issues women face while communicating with doctors even today has to do with the way the medical profession itself developed over time. A 2021 study published in BMC Family Practice suggests that like most professions and structures, the medical profession too had a paternalistic model to begin with. All doctors were male and the approach towards women’s health was more focused on their reproductive function than overall healthcare. Over time, the medical profession evolved to include women doctors and the paternalistic model shifted to a patient-centric one that honours patients’ needs, autonomy and preferences, irrespective of their gender.
However, since society itself hasn’t fully emerged from the shadow of patriarchy, the same attitudes have remained entrenched in most people, which is the reason why patients as well as doctors still tend to be guarded about the health issues they discuss. Most women, whether educated or not, tend to feel ashamed of discussing issues pertaining to reproductive, mental or general health with doctors—especially male doctors. Despite global studies, government and institutional campaigns, and efforts by civic organisations, large parts of women’s health—including menstruation, menopause, unwanted pregnancies, contraception, abortion, etc—still remain taboo.
There is yet another aspect that hinders women from communicating clearly and openly with doctors—and that has to do with the fear of being violated. While doctors and nurses are supposed to be professionals for whom the human body is just a body to be treated and cured, the cruel fact of life is that in a patriarchal society, women patients are often seen as vulnerable enough to be preyed upon by sexual predators. This is the main reason why women in general, especially in India, still prefer to consult female doctors—or consult male doctors with a companion present. While this fear is very real, no woman should let it come in the way of getting appropriate healthcare.
All of this definitely stops women from communicating clearly with their doctors, even today. And yet, we have to remember that overcoming these communication barriers is critical for our own wellbeing as well as for the health of our families. After all—and this is something every woman needs to remember when facing a personal health issue—if you aren’t well, how will you help anybody else? The primary focus when unwell has to be on optimal recovery, and nothing should come in the way of it, especially something as simple to figure out as talking to your doctor about your health.
How To Improve Doctor-Patient Communication
As the National Institutes of Health (NIH) explains, doctors need to know a lot about you, your family, and your lifestyle to give you the best medical care. With this medical attention, you can make smart choices about your health. So, clear and honest communication is the key to maintaining this relationship. Remember, there is no such thing as a stupid question when it comes to your health. Your doctor is supposed to provide you with the answers you need to make the right choices over treatments, recovery, and any procedures. The doctor may recommend routine or special diagnostic tests to determine your exact health issues, but the best way to determine the way the treatment goes is to talk openly.
If you still have any shyness or embarrassment, or if you don’t know how to express yourself best, take a family member or friend along. Your companion can not only provide a different perspective but also help you ask questions and make difficult choices if the need does arise. Given the plethora of health information available online, you may at times be moved to search for your answers there instead of going to a doctor. However, it’s always best to talk to a health professional before taking medicines or any course of treatment since it is indeed a doctor who can guide you appropriately, especially if there are any negative side effects or risk of complications. And if you still feel the urge to surf online for medical information, ask your healthcare provider for reliable sources instead of believing everything you read online.
Tips That Will Come In Handy While Talking To Doctors
If you have an upcoming doctor’s visit you’re worried about, here are a few things you can do to ensure a good communication rapport and the best medical outcomes it naturally leads to:
1. Make sure you know your own medical history and the medical history of your family (genetic/blood relations) before the doctor’s visit. Keep all your previous records, like diagnostic test results, treatment plans recommended by specialists or previous doctors, and medications you take regularly, occasionally, or previously, handy. This will help your doctor understand your state better while also assessing health risks while providing a treatment plan.
2. Prepare ahead by noting down all your immediate health problems, including symptoms, and records of symptoms like temperature, blood pressure, etc. If you are suffering from pain, note down specifics about where it’s located, its severity, intensity, etc. Noting down these details will help you be more confident in your communication while ensuring that the doctor addresses all your symptoms and issues during the consultation.
3. Don’t leave anything out and be direct about addressing your concerns. Speak up about your worries and don’t get side-tracked by anything but the issue at hand. Stay on point but don’t leave any details out simply because you have expressed them to others before.
4. Often, doctors tend to interrupt women while they’re describing their symptoms or explaining their concerns. If your doctor does interrupt you, politely say, “Sorry doctor, I wasn’t finished explaining. May I go on first?” You might feel it’s rude to interrupt the doctor, but not finishing your side of the story will neither serve your health well nor will it build any trust for the doctor in your mind.
5. Ask as many questions as you need to, whether they are about your illness or its treatment options. Ask about precise care instructions and if you don’t understand something the doctor says, ask them to explain it again. There’s no shame in doing any of this because it’s better to be informed than to make mistakes out of misunderstanding or ignorance.
6. Take detailed notes during the appointment. While doctors usually write down some details on the prescription notes, they can be difficult for the general public to decipher later. So, it’s best to take your own notes for your own reference. This will also help caregivers understand the doctor’s recommendations, irrespective of whether they were in the consultation with you or not.
7. Always follow up with your doctor, whether the treatment works or not. If a medicine or treatment course doesn’t agree with you, report back immediately and ask for alternatives.
8. If something doesn’t feel right, speak up. It’s natural to feel uncomfortable, especially if the doctor is male. If you feel disrespected, violated or harassed in any way, speak out immediately and firmly. Don’t suffer in silence or feel embarrassed about reporting the violation to authorities.