I have never been the kind of person to have a large circle of friends; at least I don’t think mine is big enough. I have a small social group, but I absolutely love their company! And if the vibe is right, I can go to a party and have a great time with people I have never met before. So, since the pandemic started, I have had bouts of loneliness which often involved me staring at the void around me.
Meeting people, sharing moments of laughter, and conversations make me so happy—and I’m sure they do the same for others too. And so do displays of affection, but gone are the days of tight hugs! One can feel lonely because they crave human interaction, or they are touch-deprived. One can feel alone if they don’t have a romantic partner, or if all their friends are busy. One can feel secluded because they are disconnected from themselves. The reasons may be different, but one thing is for sure – everyone feels lonely at some point.
Why do we hesitate to admit we are lonely?
If you ask someone if they are feeling lonely, they may get annoyed as if you’ve insulted them. In fact, several people use ‘desperate’ and ‘lonely’ as a way of humiliating someone. I mean, is it such a bad thing to be? Aren’t we all at some point?
When you watch a high school movie, you aspire to be the supposedly cool people who are popular and well-liked by everyone. You don’t want to be the quiet, socially invisible recluse (even though life isn’t a popularity contest). Somehow, there’s a social stigma attached to loneliness and it makes you not even want to admit it to yourself.
Here are a few reasons why people hesitate about admitting to feeling lonely.
· You feel it makes you look socially unlikeable
· You feel it is due to a personal shortcoming
· You believe it makes you look vulnerable
· You don’t want to seem ‘needy’
· You fear rejection
Why you shouldn’t feel embarrassed if you’re lonely
If you don’t want to admit that you need some love and company, then it’s likely that you’ve let social stigma cloud your perception. Here’s why you shouldn’t feel embarrassed if you feel lonely.
· It is natural to feel lonely sometimes
· Denial will not help you deal with it correctly
· You need to reach out to your loved ones unhesitatingly
· It doesn’t define you
What to do when you feel lonesome
Transform your point of view: Is it loneliness or solitude? It depends on how you perceive it. If you see yourself as alone and you feel sad about it, loneliness will make you feel melancholic. But if you perceive it as solitude, a situation where you’re enjoying your own company, you will start enjoying the finer things in life.
Learn to be happy alone: Speaking of solitude, it’s important to be happy in your own company. Most people who are secure even when alone can reduce the frequency of feelings of isolation. If you’re constantly seeking company, then you’re simply trying to fill a void that exists in you.
Keep your people close: We tend to worry that we may end up bothering our friends with our needs, but they want to be there for us. Encourage them to reach out to you, unhesitatingly. We never know how things escalate. At least that way, we will still have each other to talk to.
Focus on your growth: Introspect and figure what you need to evolve further, and focus on that – be it through art therapy, reading more books or watching more documentaries. Invest time in healing yourself, and that way you will end up not only being busy but also loving yourself a little.
Also Read: How To Create Your Own Closure After A Breakup
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