While in our teens and 20s, our lives revolve around our friends. Our girlfriends become our co-pilots and get front-seat views to our lives. They're always there to support us, keep us company and become the caretakers of our wellbeing. Female friendships provide a unique level of emotional support, sharing gender-specific experiences and perspectives, which can create a deep level of understanding and empathy between friends.
But with age and time, things change, we change, and like any other relationship, we make mistakes that may hurt our female friends. There are a few things women need to be mindful of, especially with female friends. Maintaining healthy friendships can be challenging and it's easy to make mistakes that can damage or even end a friendship. So here are a few common friendship mistakes and how to avoid them.
Losing touch
Life takes different turns, and, at times, affects friendships. It's easy to get caught up in your own life and forget to check in with your friends. But communication is key, and this is where both of you need to make the effort to stay in touch. Make sure you keep in touch with your buds regularly, even if it's just a quick text or call to say "what's up?". Let your friends know how you're doing, and ask them about their lives. It'll keep you connected and help avoid misunderstandings.
Comparing your journey with theirs
Comparing yourself to your female friends is a recipe for disaster. Everyone's journey is unique, and we all have our own struggles and successes. You may start to feel like you're not measuring up or are falling behind. This can be especially true when it comes to female friendships, as women are often socialised to compete with each other and strive for perfection. So what you can do is practice gratitude, be supportive, recognise your own strengths and stay in your own lane.
Commenting on their physicality every time you meet
Female friends often get candid about their bodies with each other. While you must understand and support them, it is necessary to not make them feel worse about themselves. So keep in mind to not comment on their bodies every time you meet them. Encourage body positivity and wellness.
Not listening and paying attention, and only talking about yourself
Every friendship or relationship works only when it goes both ways. This is a common issue amongst many friendships, where one forgets that they need to listen too. We all get caught up in our own thoughts and feelings, and forget to pay attention to what our friends are saying, which is a big mistake. Listening is just as important as talking in a friendship. Show interest in what they're saying, and ask questions to help clarify their thoughts and feelings. So next time your friend needs to vent, put down your phone and give them your full attention. It'll make them feel heard and strengthen your bond.
Being judgmental
As people, we grow up and have different life trajectories. They have their own opinions and beliefs, and it's important to respect them and their decisions, even when you don’t agree with them. You can explain your point of view, but you should not judge them based on their decisions. Try to understand where your friend is coming from and find some common ground. Remember that your friends are entitled to their own opinions and beliefs, and it’s okay to disagree, as long as you respect each other. Avoid making personal attacks or assuming negative intent.
Ghosting or not being around when they need you the most
First things first, ghosting is never acceptable. It's hurtful, disrespectful and can cause long-lasting damage to any relationship. When your friend is going through a difficult time, whether it's a breakup, a health issue, or a family problem, they need you more than ever. If you're not around when they need you, it could feel like a betrayal. So the next time your friend needs you, don't go MIA (missing in action). Be there for them, even if it's just to listen or offer a shoulder to cry on. Your friendship will be stronger for it. If you're feeling overwhelmed or need some space, it's okay to take a step back, but you need to communicate that honestly and kindly. Let them know that you need some time to yourself and that you'll be in touch soon. Don't just disappear without a word.
Female friendships are built on a foundation of trust and loyalty. When you have a strong bond with someone, you know that they have your back no matter what. Avoiding these common mistakes can help you maintain healthy friendships that last a lifetime.