Women have been striving hard to break stereotypes, shatter the glass ceiling and often, simply living with dignity and security. We are far from gender equality but we are not where we used to be. Things are progressing as women are breaking the chains of patriarchy in every walk of life and new-age parents are protecting their daughters from familial and societal misogyny. Parents are raising feminist daughters, but is gender equality only a woman’s lookout? To truly establish gender equality, we need to raise feminist sons.
According to a 2017 study titled Understanding men’s participation in contemporary feminist movements by Payal Soobug of Stockholm University, most feminist men believed that “traditional gender roles are destructive for men and women as well.” The study says, “These respondents were both motivated to fight women’s rights but also fighting against the existing gender disparities that come with traditional gender roles. One can argue that respondents had different incentives for participating, and in this case, it becomes clear that some participants were rational.”
The thing is that we cannot rectify the redundant traditional feminine roles until we also rectify masculine roles. We need to raise sons who know nothing but gender equality. Here’s how we can raise feminist sons.
Teach your son it’s okay to be vulnerable
How many men do you know who find it hard to emotionally express or show any sign of vulnerability? They’ve been told ever since they were little boys that crying is a sign of weakness and that boys are tough. That leads to adult men having a low emotional quotient which makes it difficult for them to navigate through their feelings or even seek help when they need it. Never discourage your son from showing empathy and vulnerability. And let them know that when women show emotion, it is definitely not a sign of weakness but great strength.
Eliminate ‘like a girl’ from their vocabulary
Another feather from the sexist hat of ‘girls are delicate and boys are tough’ is the usage of the phrase ‘like a girl’ as an insult. Many boys use this to insult each other, or have been derided for exhibiting behaviours ‘like a girl’ does even within their families. For instance, they may say things like ‘you run like a girl’ or ‘you fight like a girl’ failing to realise that they are reinforcing gender stereotypes. Feminism involves empowering women but also making men understand that we are not weak. Eliminate usage of this phrase and don’t hesitate to call your son or any friend or family member out for using it.
Teach them consent
Violation of consent is often a consequence of male entitlement. Men grow up to believe they are entitled to certain privileges, especially with women in their lives. However, boys need to understand that they do not have any entitlement over anyone whatsoever. Teach your son to seek consent from individuals – boys or girls, men or women, and even those of other genders – and respect their boundaries. And let them know when they are denied something, causing a stir will not get their demands fulfilled.
Encourage social interaction with girls
Researchers say that single-sex education is rarely ever beneficial when it comes to reinforcing gender equality. They say that the less boys and girls interact with each other, the more gender stereotypes are reinforced. Getting to know and befriending girls will help your son understand that they are, in fact, equals. It helps in discarding the unfriendly power tug of war between sexes. Discourage the ‘girls vs boys’ mentality; we are all in it together.
Eliminate linguistic sexism
Most teachers in their classrooms use ‘boys and girls’ instead of saying ‘children’. Linguistic sexism is in every facet of our lives and many people barely even notice it. But introducing and using gender-neutral terms can overcome this linguistic sexism to a large degree. When we teach young children about different professions, replace ‘postman’ with ‘mail carrier’, ‘chairman’ with ‘chairperson’ and so on. Linguistic sexism makes males the prototype human, especially ones with power and authority. It reinforces the notion that women’s identities (or the identities of other genders, fo that matter) are dependent on men, while men are independent beings.
Teach them to be independent
Studies show that the girl child does much more chores than the male child, a tendency which basically stems from the idea that girls need to learn housework while boys don’t. This can continue to the extent that boys never learn to function at home to even meet their basic needs, and always end up being dependent on women for the same. Ensure your son is taught the same life skills that society encourages girls to learn. Encourage your son to take interest in cooking, cleaning after himself, helping you with chores and being self-sufficient. It is after all, not a woman’s job alone to be good at home management and improvement.
Teach them to take a stand
Boys and men need to join the feminist movement, especially since feminism is not about one gender being better than the other but all of them being equal. The feminist movement benefits both men and women because it aims to eliminate gender stereotypes, and men too have some they’d do better without. Most men who do stand for feminism believe it is their moral obligation. Teach your son that establishing gender equality is the moral responsibility of every human. Any violation of a woman’s right is a violation of humanity. And we don’t need bystanders but individuals who would take a stand, even when it doesn’t directly benefit them.
Also Read: How To Protect Your Girl Child From Early Familial Misogyny
Also Read: 3 Steps To Raising A Strong And Confident Girl Child