Playing the part over the decades
Boys will be boys. Or maybe they won’t! The idea of boyhood was first established in Renaissance Europe, a time when emotional suppression, widespread violence and what we refer to in today’s vocabulary as ‘bullying’ has not worked particularly well for boys.
This approach or attitude didn’t really have much to do with the actual raising of boys as children. Rather, it was what adults or parents believed men should grow up to be - to possess strength, no matter what the cost. Over the years, parents have taken this memo of raising their sons to be ‘real’ men far too seriously and literally. The job description to raise a son is standard – be strong, be physically robust, stay fit, play sports, and look after your partner.
There’s never been a better time to raise a son…
Raising a boy fit for the 21st century involves recognising and valuing the full spectrum of emotions. Boys are often socialised to suppress their feelings, which can lead to difficulties in understanding and expressing emotions later in life. Clinical Psychologist, Mehezabin Dordi advises parents to encourage open communication by creating a safe space where he feels comfortable discussing his thoughts and feelings. Teach him that it’s okay to experience a range of emotions and provide him with constructive ways to express them, such as through journaling, art, or verbal expression.
Setting a live example
Additionally, focus on nurturing empathy and compassion. Encourage him to consider others’ perspectives and feelings, and model empathetic behaviour yourself. Engage in activities that promote teamwork and cooperation, such as volunteering or participating in community projects, to instill a sense of social responsibility and empathy towards others.
Ms Dordi explains that when it comes to adaptability, help your son develop resilience and flexibility in the face of challenges. Encourage him to embrace change as an opportunity for growth rather than something to be feared. Teach problem-solving skills and the importance of learning from mistakes, emphasising that setbacks are a natural part of life and can lead to valuable lessons.
Progressive parenting
Progressive parenting involves moving away from authoritarian or overly permissive approaches and instead adopting a more democratic and child-centered approach. Foster independence by gradually increasing responsibilities and allowing your child to make age-appropriate decisions. Offer guidance and support as needed, but also give him the freedom to learn from his experiences and develop confidence in his abilities.
Promote critical thinking by encouraging curiosity and asking open-ended questions that stimulate discussion and reflection. Teach him to think critically about media messages, societal norms, and stereotypes, and empower him to challenge unfair or discriminatory practices.
Every boy, recognised and loved
Embrace gender-neutral activities and roles to avoid limiting your child’s potential based on societal expectations. Provide opportunities for him to explore a variety of interests and hobbies, regardless of whether they are traditionally associated with his gender. Encourage him to express himself authentically and challenge outdated notions of masculinity that may restrict his emotional expression or personal development.
Parents of the 21st century
Ms Dordi adds that it’s important to recognise that every child is unique and may require different approaches to parenting. Be mindful of your child’s individual temperament, strengths, and challenges, and tailor your parenting style accordingly. Stay informed about child development and seek out resources and support networks to help you navigate the complexities of raising a child in the 21st century.
Create a supportive and nurturing environment that values diversity and celebrates differences. Expose your child to a variety of cultures, perspectives, and experiences to foster tolerance and understanding. Model inclusive behaviour and teach him to respect others regardless of their background, beliefs, or identity.
Above all, prioritise your child’s emotional well-being and mental health. Be attuned to his needs and provide unconditional love and support. Encourage him to develop a positive self-image and resilience in the face of adversity. By fostering a nurturing and empowering environment, you can help your child thrive and become a confident, compassionate, and resilient individual in the 21st century.
Image source: Mashable, Motherista