Rejection is a part of life. Whether it’s being rejected by someone you know or don’t, it does affect us. When we’re bothered by an unknown autorickshaw driver rejecting to give us a ride, imagine being rejected in a serious scenario, like at work or by a loved one. If we, as mature individuals, are still figuring our way through rejection, imagine how complicated, overwhelming and frustrating it can be for a child?
Dealing with rejection is an important life skill that children need to develop, in order to navigate various challenges and setbacks they may encounter. Parents and teachers play a crucial role in helping children build resilience and cope with rejection in a healthy manner.
Mehezabin Dordi, Clinical Psychologist at Reliance Foundation Hospital, shares a few psychological perspectives and strategies that can be helpful for both parents and teachers.
Encourage emotional expression
Rejection can evoke a range of emotions. Encourage children to express their feelings openly and validate those emotions. Let them know that it's normal to feel disappointed or hurt after experiencing rejection.
Teach realistic expectations
Help children understand that not everyone can succeed in every endeavour. Teach them to set realistic goals and emphasise the importance of effort and personal growth, rather than solely focusing on the outcome.
Foster a supportive environment
When children face rejection, provide them with constructive feedback and encourage self-reflection. Encourage empathy and teach them how to support their peers who may be dealing with rejection.
Demonstrate healthy coping mechanisms
Teach children healthy ways to cope with rejection, such as engaging in activities they enjoy, talking to supportive friends or family members, or practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing. Discourage unhealthy coping mechanisms like avoidance, self-blame or negative self-talk.
Model resilience
As parents and teachers, it’s essential to model resilience and demonstrate how to handle rejection positively. Share stories of your own experiences with rejection, and how you learned and grew from them.
It's also important to note that repeated or chronic experiences of rejection can have a cumulative impact on a child's self-esteem, motivation and overall well-being. If a child consistently faces rejection without proper support or coping mechanisms, it can contribute to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt and lowered self-esteem. This, in turn, may indirectly affect their academic performance, engagement in learning and overall cognitive development.
Rejection can also have physical effects on individuals, including children. The mind and body are interconnected, and emotional distress resulting from rejection can manifest in physical symptoms such as sleep disturbance, a weakened immune system, psychosomatic symptoms (fatigue, headache, muscle tension, change in appetite) or stress.
Both parents and teachers play vital roles in supporting children through the challenges of rejection. By providing a nurturing environment, teaching valuable life skills and offering unconditional support, they can help children develop resilience, and navigate rejection in a healthy and constructive manner.