We’ve all been subject to a few jibe and jokes from our peers growing up. Whether it’s being told we’re too fat or too skinny, our shoes aren’t some of the latest trends, or that our clothes are unflattering—young or old, everyone has dealt with some form of bullying or another. But when does teasing become torment?
Here are five red flags, and silent signs that your child is a victim of bullying:
Your Child Shows A Reluctance To Go To School: Your once enthusiastic child now seems like a completely different person, and puts up a bit of resistance when it comes to getting dressed to go to school, and finds every possible reason to stay home. While it may be easier to speak to an adolescent or teenage child for their reasons for not wanting to go, with younger children, pay attention to the excuses they make. They might complain of a headache or stomach ache. If you notice this consistent behaviour, it’s time for you to investigate the matter.
Your Child Doesn’t Have The Same Set Of Friends: The names you’ve grown accustomed to hearing are no longer being mentioned in conversations. Loss or a change in friends is a clear indication of bullying. Similarly, if you notice your child is reluctant to hang out with a certain friend, it is a sign of bullying. You may need to pay close attention to parent groups and the conversations surrounding social gatherings or extra-curricular activities to notice if your child is being side-lined or left out.
Your Child Has Trouble Sleeping: If you notice that your child has difficulty falling asleep, might need a comforter or night light, is tossing about more than usual, there’s a good chance s/he is anxious about what might happen at school the next day. If there aren’t any big tests, assignments, or exams that are around the corner, it’s possible that there’s more that meets the eye.
Your Child Has Grown Distant Or Aloof: Have you seen a sudden change in your child’s social skills? Has s/he stopped spending time with the family, answers with a nod or monosyllabic replies? You may have also notice that your child has started to pick unnecessary fights with his or her siblings. Alternatively, s/he may be averse to or fixated on a device. This is another sign that your child is being bullied. Instead of reprimanding your child for the change in behaviour, you might want to make yourself available, should they need any form of support. Remember to first listen, and then swing into action.
You Notice Torn Clothing Or Physical Marks: While not a subtle or silent sign of bullying, if there’s no clear indication that your child fell and skinned their knees or elbows, torn clothing and bruises are a straightforward signs of torment. Moreover, the damage can even extend to your child’s personal belongings, so pay close attention to your child’s behaviour after physical violence. However, remember to be calm and approachable when asking what happened. Your child may be reluctant to speak up for fear that you will intervene and cause another round of bullying. Present a comforting front and allow them to come to you, and then decide on a course of action that your child is also on board with.
And remember, alter the school or institution your child is being bullied at to ensure immediate and just action is being taken, and appropriate measures are put in place to stop the incident from recurring. If your child’s personality and behaviour has been significantly altered as a direct result of the bullying, it’s advisable to seek professional help to enable your child to deal properly deal with the issue.