When I see the women in my life—the women in my family, my friends, the women I see in my professional circle—I feel so proud of each of them. I think it’s a major compliment to self, saying, ‘I am like other women.’ ‘Like a girl’ should be said as a compliment too!
We are bright, we are driven, we fight, we laugh, we express, we are skilled, we are smart, and in a world that is so biased against us, we are still full of love and joy. Women are pretty amazing, and sometimes, as a person when you are shining bright, it makes many people feel intimidated. They may feel more comfortable with you shining less, instead of just shining brighter or appreciating your light.
We are told we are too independent; we are told shyness is appreciated; we are told to make the guy feel needed; we are told dumbing down is attractive. Listen to me, if you ever have to do any of this to make a date or a partner feel more comfortable around you, you deserve better.
Here’s why you should never dim your light for anyone else.
You are not intimidating, they are intimidated
POV: You confidently walk into a room and aren’t afraid of driving conversations, speaking your mind and sharing your knowledge. Sounds great, right? It is! Yet, many people call you “intimidating” for being confident, knowing what you want, and not being afraid to call someone out for being wrong to you. If they are intimidated by your poise, the onus is not on you to make them feel better about themselves.
You should never have to feel bad about your achievements
So many women are told they should not be more successful than their male romantic partners. So many men feel intimidated if the woman they are seeing is earning more, is self-sufficient and pays for the dates. But if you got a promotion and you really want to do a little happy dance and celebrate it, do it! If you want to share your utter joy because you did such great problem-solving at work and got appreciated, do it. If it makes anyone else feel smaller, maybe they are, for not being happy for you and they need to change it. Why should you not celebrate or grab opportunities that you work so hard for?
You should never have to hold yourself back from enriching experiences
The thing is, a person who is progressive won’t try to hold you back from shining. Where does your light come from? Do you sparkle when you let your hair down, socialise and build a strong network? Does it happen when you go on adventures or you learn something new? Is it coming from your vast knowledge on a subject? Or do you shine because of your inner strength and your ability to be self-sufficient? Irrespective of the source, if a person for whatever reasons acts like you are too much, maybe it’s because they are less. Let them overcome their insecurities, help them if you must but don’t stop doing what makes you happy.
Relationships where you can’t shine inhibit your growth
Adulting is not easy. We go through various experiences in life, some difficult, some ecstatic. However, even the ones that cause us to crack can build us, as the light within us can shine through the little perforations. Having said that, relationships that restrict you from doing what makes your cracked but still perfect little heart dance, inhibit you from truly growing.
Do it for other women
You know when it’s expected of a woman to dim her light to make other people feel comfortable? And you do that, thus not challenging them to take responsibility of their own insecurities? Other women have to bear the brunt of it as well. If most women refuse to do that, the society will have to see it as a rule and not an exception.