The holiday season is often associated with romance. OTT platforms are brimming with movies and series that make you feel either loved or lonely. I love holiday movies but sometimes, I wonder, why everything is supposed to be about meet-cutes? Why is every movie about kissing under the mistletoe or romance that feels nothing short of magical realism?
We love those, but is the holiday season all about this? Turns out, it does have a huge impact on our love lives. Here’s how the holiday season affects your love life.
You can feel lonely
According to a 2017 study titled The Holiday Season: Joy, Love & Loneliness and published by the American Association for Retired Persons (AARP), “31 per cent of respondents say they have felt lonely during the holiday season sometime during the past five years, and 41 per cent have worried about a family member or friend feeling lonesome.”
With so much romance and the need to be coupled being pumped into the air by capitalism that feeds on our emotions, we may begin to feel a sense of loneliness. At every party you go to, people bring their dates along. So many of your friends and cousins are getting engaged or married. It makes you crave that warmth, crave someone to cuddle with, someone who can kiss you at midnight on New Year’s Eve.
You may feel pressured to take it to the next level
For those looking to settle down, the end of the year may make you feel more pressured to take things to the next level. This is the time when the world is collectively thinking of and witnessing weddings and that means your family and friends are doing that too. If you’re single, pressures may come from all directions, including from within or from your partner, if you have one. That means, if you or your partner is not ready, it can create a make-or-break situation. However, it is advisable to hold your horses and not take things to the next level, out of pressure.
It can be a stressful time for those in a relationship
There are several stressors during this part of the year. You have pressure from your family and relatives, there is extra workload, all that effort that goes into making holiday plans, gifting and financial stress. With so much overload, couples tend to quarrel more than usual.
Germaine Mikhail, a relationship consultant explains in Journeyforlifenow.org, “In the counselling field, one fact is known to be true–the holiday season is one of the most challenging times for families. Statistics and divorce lawyers identify the first three months of the year as the highest rate of divorces filed during the year. For therapists, the months following the Christmas holidays have proven to be the busiest of times. So, why is this the case?”
She adds, “The compounding effect of the holiday stressors and existing issues could take a toll on the strongest of relationships.”
Most breakups happen during the holiday season
Several studies have found this to be the season when most breakups happen. Not everyone survives the stressors their relationship faces. However, it is also a time for reflection. “I was seeing this guy for the past year and we were planning to get engaged in December last year. However, during the holiday season, I started reflecting on my life and realised that this is not what I want. He didn’t inspire me. I wasn’t happy with him and I didn’t want my life to look like it did then, forever. I broke up and cancelled the engagement,” says Ahana (name changed).
The end of the year gives us time and opportunity to reflect on things and if we are unhappy, we don’t want to walk into a new year feeling that way.
Couples may feel closer
According to a 2020 University of Illinois study, rituals and festivals allow couples to assess their partnership for longevity. “Rituals have the power to bond individuals and give us a preview into family life and couple life. We found they help magnify normative relationship experiences,” says Chris Maniotes, lead author of the paper, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Celebrating holidays together can bring couples closer if you’re on the same page.
How to holiday-proof your relationship
1) Maintain perspective. Don’t get carried away with the love in the air and fall for someone way too fast. If in a relationship, don’t let the small stressors cloud the bigger picture.
2) Focus on having fun together and letting loose.
3) Don’t give or give in to ultimatums.
4) Keep calm and take it slow
5) Avoid making any decisions you may regret.
Also Read: Why Marrying Someone Who Will Be A Good Parent Is Important For Me