When you find yourself in a relationship, you must have observed a couple of things about yourself, and your partner. How you behave when you’re around each other, how you make each other feel, what keeps you both happy and free from any conflict. There are many such factors that you keep an eye out for in order to ensure that your relationship is a happy and stable one. And it so happens, that these very factors may sometimes lead to a lot of promises, commitment, and compromises. These could further start to affect your sense of individuality. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are some ways in which you can practice freedom within your relationships:
1. Preferences
Don't let your partner blame you for your preferences. Don’t indulge in shaming your partner, or making them feel guilty about their actions, and don’t let the same happen to you. The biggest buzzkill in a partnership is a natural human tendency to quickly convert our unhappiness into shame and our preferences into responsibilities. When we are disappointed, our initial instinct is to say, "You disappoint me," as if we had a moral obligation to never disappoint each other. Our first reaction to our desire is to say, "You owe me," as if it is our obligation to always delight each other. Refrain from moralising your preferences. If you fall into it, get out as soon as possible.
2. Boundaries
Be definite when you know what you will and will not do out of respect for your partner and yourself. Establishing and communicating your boundaries goes a long way in avoiding conflicts, and also solving them if ever there is a need. Plus, both of you would know where you stand when it comes to certain issues. These boundaries could be about, but not limited to, the household chores – who would do what and when, or regarding any activities (both within and outside of the bedroom), or even when it comes to people – if someone in their family or friend circle makes you uncomfortable.
3. Internal Incompatibilities
While it’s true that we look for partners we are compatible with, what we often overlook is the inner-work that would help you attract that compatible partner. So it is imperative to ask yourself questions regarding what you’re looking for in a partner, and whether you can also provide the similar, if not the same things you’re looking for. What should their nature be? How should they support you? Should they be there for you in times of crisis, or leave you be? It always helps to be clear about what you want, so that you don’t end up projecting your insecurities onto your partner, thus making the relationship difficult.
4. Know What You’re Signing Up For
Perhaps one of the biggest cause for conflict in relationships arises when both partners are not on the same page regarding their bond. When you agree to be in a relationship, there are certain things both agree upon, and would also have to follow through. Still, things can change over time, and you may find yourselves disagreeing on things more than agreeing on them. This can be a great cause for unhappiness. Therefore, understand what you’re signing up for in this relationship, discuss whatever apprehensions you may have with your partner, and be open to hear their side of things.
5. Give And Take
Freedom comes with responsibility, not only for how you use it, but also for ensuring that others have the same opportunity. Every relationship comes with its fair share of give and take. So let’s say, if you want to indulge in your interests or activities, you must also allow your partner that flexibility. This is critical in any relationship; otherwise, staying committed for an extended amount of time becomes claustrophobic.