Remember when Carrie says in Sex and the City that maybe our soulmates are our girlfriends? She was right because it’s so true! These are the women who understand us, support us and hype us up when self-doubts are always lurking in the back of our heads, waiting to creep in. We go through our share of ups and downs; we fight, we make up but we never stop having each other’s back.
Realising how precious female friendships are, I have been fortunate enough to have girlfriends that passed the test of time and geographical distance. I have girlfriends who have grown up with me, who worked with me, who studied with me and who I met by chance. They have been a perennial source of support and it fills my heart when they say the same about me.
And this is often exhibited in ways big and small. If you take a quick analysis of your Instagram feed, it is often your girlfriends, your female acquaintances who are hyping you up—whether you share a picture, putting aside the nagging voice of our society that inflates the so-called imperfections or if you share something you feel excited about.
I love women who hype each other up because they exactly know why it is important. Here’s why we should have—and be the kind of—friends who hype each other.
1) They make you feel comfortable in your own skin
Have you ever met a woman who has in her entire life never wanted to change anything about her body? Every woman I have ever known wants to (or wanted to) “fix” something about her appearance because it doesn’t agree with society’s definition of beautiful. As I write this, a friend of mine sent me her picture asking if she should put it up on Instagram because she thought her arms look too big in it. I encouraged her to post it because who cares if your arms look big? Who cares if you think your waist isn’t of the size our society deems beautiful? Why should we be restricted by the walls patriarchy wants to build around us?
We hype each other up because honestly, even the woman who seems to be most confident can have bouts of self-doubt. And it isn’t easy to overcome body image issues. For every voice in the world that tries to hold stereotypical standards of beauty, we need a voice that tells us we are perfect the way we are.
2) They make you more confident
According to a 2019 study by Harvard Business Review, women who have strong female connections are more likely to have successful careers. Whenever I am undermining my skills or settling for less, my female friends, especially those in the same industry always back me up. I make sure I do the same for my friends. A kind word goes a long way. You may be starting a new project, going out of your comfort zone or even changing your career but with friends who hype you up, you end up staying on the path, irrespective of the obstacles that come by.
3) They become your safety net
A UCLA study says that women, apart from having a typical fight or flight response to stress, also feel a need to bond. They turn to their female friendships where they experience unbarred love and support, and that helps them deal with their stressors better. Having girlfriends who hype you up helps you deal with life so much better. Tomorrow, if I am feeling down in the dumps, yes I know reading a book in a café while sipping coffee will lift my mood but nothing will warm my heart the way my female support system can.
4) They make you feel free
Have you ever felt hesitant to do something for yourself because of extrinsic or intrinsic factors that should not matter? Women who want each other to feel free and not let things get in the way of them fulfilling their dreams and desires, always motivate other women to be go-getters. The progress doesn’t happen overnight. You may start with something small but with the constant support of our hype girls, over a while, you bloom.
5) Self-love is contagious
What happens when the tribe of women—who are confident and unapologetic of who they are—grows? It helps other women to love themselves a little better. In fact, when you have friends who hype you, who support you, wouldn’t you want to pass it on? Love yourself because you never know how many women feel inspired by you to love themselves for who they are.
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