You might’ve heard a thousand things about love, including comments in the negative, but none of that should be allowed to sweep away any confusion that you may harbour about the feeling. People describe it in so many different ways, it is confusing. Some say love isn’t even a feeling and that it is a verb. Don’t be cross, what they mean is love is about efforts to keep a relationship going.
So, let’s get down straight to the million-dollar question - how to know you’re in love?
It Is What It Is
Love is definitely more than mere attraction or infatuation. And love has also different colours and flavours itself as one may love different people differently – one does not have to feel the same way for everybody. Love can also lead to unexpected results, for instance, love has empowered and inspired many to express their emotions through the medium of art. When the lover pines for her beloved, she may take to music or writing. Love can lead the lover to either act or not act at all. For instance, while some may want to propose immediately, others may not have the courage or may defer the act of declaration for a suitable and until then just behold the beloved only from a distance.
Whatever you are feeling, don’t let anybody invalidate your feelings because people are different and hence different are the felt emotions. Of course, some may also feel that they are incapable of falling in love or being loved, but don’t second-guess yourself because your love language could be different or is perhaps evolving.
This article will help you find out if you really are in love.
The Right Time
Love can be a feeling that makes you feel giddy or happy or nervous or even sad. It all depends on whom you’re in love with. If it is your best friend’s partner, it obviously won’t make you happy. Or at least, it shouldn’t. You can’t choose who you fall in love with, but you can certainly choose what to do about it.
Sometimes love is about walking away from it, even if it makes your heart heavier for a long time. But when it is not someone off-limits, you must shoot your shot. Even though it is hard to determine and beyond one’s control, you must know that the right or the perfect time to fall in love is when you meet the right person who is also looking for love and is compatible with you. The initial days are often confusing, so before you say anything, it’s best to ask are you in love for real.
How Do You Know If You Love Someone
Love cannot be defined because it indeed is a feeling that people express in different ways. Sometimes, you and your friend could be saying different things to describe the same feeling. Sometimes, you could be saying the same things but meaning them differently.
To clear these doubts, here are a few sure-shot signs that will enable you to construe and indicate to you whether you are in love -
1] You can’t stop thinking about her or him for weeks
People often call this stage infatuation, for possibly it, very well, could be a part of infatuation. But this is inconclusive and is not dismissive of the fact that people who are in love do spend a significant time almost every day thinking about the other willy-nilly. However, if these sentiments start to ebb away in a few days or weeks, it is just plain infatuation.
But if it is true love, then those butterflies in your stomach will not go away this soon, even though they will eventually once you have declared. True love will lead you to think about wanting to spend more and more time with them, being happy with and for them. And these thoughts are more than just carnal thoughts.
Every lover has a phase of constantly thinking about their love interest for the entire time before their love gets reciprocated and it lasts for months or even years after the lucky couple settles into their relationship.
2] You want the best for them
Love is a lot about putting the other person’s needs before those of yours. This is not quite the practised selflessness people expect it to be. In fact, hopeless romantics need to practice putting themselves first. But when you are in love you will automatically end up thinking about how things would affect that person, or what they would want. How do you know you love someone? You will think about “how to make them happy?” instead of “how to make them see that you want to make them happy”.
During this phase do remember to love and prioritize yourself too. Don’t go all in because you don’t want to come off too strong when you don’t even know how the other person feels. If the feelings are reciprocal, you will find a balance together. You will both want material things and deep happiness for each other.
3] You feel more empathy in general
When you love someone, it affects you as a person and you become a little more generous than you already were. Because you are happier and you have more interest to be kinder to all. If you meet someone new then every chance of hanging out with them will make you a happier and resultantly, a better person. You will invariably end up asking yourself “Am I falling in love?”
Although, for people who are emotionally burnt out, love can make you seem more selfish. If you have not had your fill of emotional stability or affection in a long time, love will teach you to treat yourself with kindness because you deserve it too. Depending on whether you’ve had an easier or a difficult time in the past, love will affect you deeply leading you to become a better version of yourself.
4] You are more motivated and productive
Love hormones trigger happy hormones. As long as you aren’t severely depressed or have loads of other mental health issues that subdue the happy hormones of love, you will feel a positive energy that will give you the strength and motivation to achieve your goals and do more for others as well. Love gives you strength and never drains it.
5] You are open to new things
Prioritizing your love interest makes you open to new ideas, new food new thought patterns and whatnot. If your love is true, you will explore new ideas without losing the existing ones. If you feel like you’re losing yourself, you might be with a controlling person.
So, basically to answer the question – ‘how to know you’re in love?’, all in all, when you are happier, more productive, more giving, feel safe and peaceful but still excited about the life ahead, it means you are in love. Unfortunately, if your love goes unreciprocated, you will be sad and might even be angry for a while. But then that comes with the territory, and the risk is after all worth the experience.