Adult life brings on a lot of challenges—work, personal life and sometimes, to simply exist without drowning yourself in coffee or tequila (or both!). Between the need to blow off some steam by taking the dance floor by storm and to curl up in bed, relaxing ironically with your favourite series about crimes and horror, decision-making itself can be a task. However, amidst all this, being with the women in our lives, sometimes, makes us feel the freedom to just be.
We grow up, and the connection we share isn’t just when we are meeting each other every other day. We have the connection, right in the palm of our hands, sometimes, in the form of a digital safety net, a rant corner, a no-brains station, a reality check and whatnot.
Women support each other to be strong, inspire each other to learn and unlearn, make us think and help us in ways that cannot be contained in one exhaustive list. And these women aren’t just our friends, our co-workers or peers. Often, as teenagers, our energies get more focused on our out-of-home lives, sometimes, the connection with our families takes a back seat. But as we grow up, many of us begin to develop a deeper connection with the women in our lives—mothers, mothers-in-law, grandmothers, aunts, etc. We begin to understand their stories better.
You may not even know someone personally, but the threads of shared experience connect us all. Sisterhood is not just about loving someone and sharing a bond with them, it’s also about offering a pad to a stranger in a washroom, looking out for a woman who feels followed, appreciating a woman’s achievements, and even taking from a woman whose perspective doesn’t match yours.
In all of this, we feel a sense of freedom—sisters will relate when I say it feels like taking off your bra at the end of a long, hectic day. Or finally hitting the bed and spending some ‘me time’ watching your favourite shows after people-ing a lot. Sisterhood is not just a network, a sentiment but it’s a vibe, a state of mind.
The freedom to heal
When something threats our safety, we have a natural fight or flight response, and that’s something most of us are aware of. But researchers have now found that women have a wider range of responses when they need to heal. Studies say that as part of the stress response, the hormone oxytocin is released in women, which makes them want to bond with other women and children. And when they do that, there is more oxytocin being released, thus, producing a soothing effect. This is why meeting your female friends or women you love can help you forget your sorrows. Men, having a high level of testosterone, do not produce the same effect.
It’s safe to say, women together help each other to heal and forget their stress. Simply being together, sharing and talking can make us feel free and light.
The no-judgement zone
Where there is empathy, it’s hard for there to be judgement. I’d say, every person can be judgemental at some point, for some time, even when mostly they are not. We are humans, we have biases and our perceptions stem from our own experiences. But even then, women with their shared fears and issues, find it in them to offer each other a safe space to be free—free for us to be ourselves. “It's very freeing. When you know you have people you can just be your weird, goofy, no-filters-attached self with it makes all the difference in the world. They might not laugh at all your jokes but they will be there to hold your hand when you feel like the sky is crumbling down on you,” Mitali Shah, a 25-year-old Mumbai resident, reveals.
Many women experience body image issues at some point or the other, owing to the unrealistic, stereotypical beauty standards imposed by our society. But in an all-woman zone, especially, with the women who are close to us, we feel encouraged to shed all those inhibitions.
In fact, women are scrutinised way too much by our society that clings to redundant gender roles that should have perished long ago—or never existed in the first place. Our choices, be it regarding our careers, sexual, life or just about anything, we are judged. Not like we should care, but being in a space, where we are understood, is just so relaxing—like a burden has been loaded off. Of course, internalised misogyny exists and not every woman will not judge you. But those who don’t and the sisterhood we share with them, it’s so precious.
Unlearning
When it comes to ideologies and choices, our opinions don’t match with many women. Being of the same gender doesn’t put you in one box—every person is different and their experiences make them see the world differently. But can our sisterhood be limited to those that offer only comfort? Unlearning is incredibly important, as we strive to make the world a choice-friendly place. The freedom to unlearn, comes from us being challenged, and not in the comfort of agreement. It comes from our closest people not being afraid to tell us if they think we are doing something wrong. It comes from watching women we don’t see eye to eye with, exploring their stories, and their school of thought and developing a deeper perspective.
Unlearning is freeing because we are breaking the chains that hold us in one box. Tolerance is all about empathy and respecting others’ freedom of choice. And when challenged, we may as well expand our horizons. We may not agree, but we may look at them and see why.
Women’s health gets a voice
Researchers say, women tend to ignore talking about their health issues and there is often a stigma attached to it. However, many women, feel comfortable talking about health issues with each other. In fact, having a safe space to talk about women’s health and feeling encouraged, makes many women feel heard. It makes many women feel they are not alone and that it’s okay for us to put ourselves first. “I guess it’s like having someone get you, without even trying to explain how you are feeling. I mean yes we have our partners but there are certain struggles like our health issues which they may try to understand, but can’t fully. It’s easier to explain it to your female best friend and often, they have similar things to share so you feel heard and not alone in it,” says Karishma Chiplunkar, a 29-year-old yoga professional.
Sisterhood is a safe space, a freeing experience and one that makes us take that leap to be ourselves, unlearn and be better!
Also Read: Why Saying ‘I’m Not Like Other Girls’ Is Wrong
Also Read: How Digital Sisterhood Is Shattering Stereotypes About Female Dynamics