Balancing multiple responsibilities is a familiar challenge for many. However, for those caring for both their ageing parents and their children—often referred to as the “sandwich generation”, the weight of these obligations can feel overwhelming. In conversation with Her Circle, Dr Preeti Chhabria, director of internal medicine and geriatrics at Sir H.N. Reliance Foundation Hospital offered a deeply personal glimpse into her life as both a geriatrician and a caregiver for her 92-year-old mother.
Recognising the immense burden that caregiving places on individuals, Dr Chhabria has championed the need for community-level support. She initiated an elder caregiver support group at the Reliance Foundation Hospital, where caregivers can share their experiences and feelings without judgement. “Venting doesn’t mean we love our parents any less,” she explains. “It just means we are bottling over.” This is an important message for caregivers who often feel guilty for expressing feelings of exhaustion or frustration. As Dr Chhabria points out, caregiving is an emotionally demanding task. Elders, especially those suffering from dementia or depression, can become emotionally or physically aggressive. “One in three elders are depressed,” she says, highlighting the emotional toll that ageing brings, from the loss of spouses and friends to the fear of death.
Dr Chhabria sees firsthand how caregiving impacts not just the elderly but the caregivers themselves. The stress of trying to be a “perfect” parent and caregiver often leads to sleep deprivation, anxiety, and a deep sense of inadequacy. Caregivers may compare their lives to their peers who are not burdened with caregiving responsibilities, leading to feelings of frustration and resentment. Her advice to caregivers is both practical and compassionate. She encourages caregivers to involve neighbours, friends, and family in visiting their elders, ensuring that the burden of care does not fall solely on one person. “The key word here is balance,” she stresses. “Balance will either make or break us as caregivers.”
Dr Chhabria’s work in geriatrics and caregiver support is a reminder that caregiving is a community effort. It is a responsibility that requires compassion, balance, and shared effort—qualities that can ensure that our elders age with dignity, and that caregivers do not carry the burden alone.