“It’s not a conflict. It’s not an operation. It’s a war. And we need to remember this fact,” says Dar Gai, Ukrainian director, theatre instructor & intimacy coach, who is now based in India.
Before Russian forces invaded Ukraine on February 24, night-time satellite imagery captured the twinkling bright lights of Kyiv, Kharkiv, Rivne and other urban areas. Now that same imagery shows a country that has gone dark, steeling itself against brutal military attacks. “I have been getting messages from family members who are just confused. They are shell-shocked and are not able to make any rational decisions. The psychological impact of this has been tremendous. My sister has gone from being a leading paediatric radiologist to a refugee overnight.”
In the image: Dar with her mother in Ukraine.
Overwhelmed by the concern and support extended by her friends in India, for Gai who is currently in Mumbai, the shock and trauma are unbearable. “The only thing that I haven’t learned how to deal with are my emotions and I can’t reply to these messages as it triggers me immediately.” She acknowledged that there’s not much anyone can do to change the course of the invasion other than fight back for their freedom. Despite the dangers and repercussions, her mother has volunteered to be a part of the military operations. “I really tried to convince her not to take on this endeavour, but her will to protect her freedom is strong. My grandmother (78) refuses to leave and states that if needed she will fight along with the soldiers for her land.”
In the image: Dar, her morther, grandfather, grandmother, husband and friend.
Reminiscing about her homeland she describes Ukraine as one of the most unique places on earth, rich in ancient history and culture very similar to India. “Family values are very important in Ukraine, I grew up in a joint family. When I came to India 12 years ago I felt that I’m at home. Kyiv, my hometown was my source of power. Its magical streets, sounds, museums, people inspired me for so many stories that eventually became part of my profession.” She defines her homeland as an educational and progressive cradle that has produced some of the best minds in the tech world, including the founder of WhatsApp, Grammarly, RefaceAI, MacPaw, etc. “The youth is motivated and artistic. We were on the brink of taking Ukraine to the world. And we will. No matter what.”
HC: We are hoping that your family is safe. Have you been able to stay in contact with your family?
Dar: My mother and her brother have volunteered to be a part of the military operations. It is super dangerous. They are making supply runs in and out of Kyiv in their private vehicles bringing medical supplies to people's houses, volunteers and military bases, all this while there are Russian tanks and soldiers spread across the city. The building right next to my high school has been completely bombed by a Russian missile. My grandmother along with one of my aunts is stuck in a village about 40 km outside Kyiv.
In the image: The remains of the bridge connecting Dar's village to the highway.
The bridge that connects the village to the main highway has been bombed by Russians, so it's impossible to leave, and also there has been major disruption of supplies there. She is really strong, as are all the rest of the elderly folk in the village. They have created a huge stock of Molotov cocktails and are ready to stand their ground and protect their land. Luckily my Sister and some of our young cousins were able to leave Ukraine through the Romanian border, but it was not an easy journey. After having to take shelter due to shelling warning alarms and spending about 14 hours at the border, they finally made it through. Another one of my Aunts was stuck in a metro station that has been converted into a bomb shelter with her little baby for 72 hours.
HC: The situation is, of course, incredibly personal to you; was there any acknowledgement of the invasion at all? How did you first learn of the horrifying attacks?
Dar: It’s not a conflict. It’s not an operation. It’s a war. And we need to remember this fact. We can’t allow propaganda media to change the nomenclature of ‘terms’ and subconsciously change the meaning of what is actually happening. By calling it a “conflict” or a “crisis” it takes away from the fact that it's a full-fledged war. A war that’s been happening for the last eight years. It started in the aftermath of the 2014 Ukrainian revolution and the Euromaidan movement. Russian troops have been at war with our soldiers on the east side of Ukraine for many years. Young innocent people have been dying silently on the front lines. Without any media coverage, without any international recognition or support. We love our freedom and we know what we are fighting for – our dignity, the peaceful future of the world, and most importantly for common sense to prevail. The entire situation reminds me of the German invasion in 1941. It's the same propaganda-led mentality, the same psychosis, and the same misuse of power.
HC: What are you hearing from your family and friends who are still in Ukraine?
Dar: There are messages filled with horror and anxiety. Imagine having to leave everything you own, everything you are close to, all your work and assets behind. It’s the most insane thing to think about. Everything you may have collected over the years, anything that is dear to you, all has to be just forgotten? I have friends there who are staying back and fighting. A lot of my schoolmates and college mates have picked up guns and weapons to defend their areas. There are 22/23-year-old boys and girls who have had to resort to a form of guerrilla warfare just to stay alive. They don't have an option to leave, everything they have is in Kyiv, how can they just pack a suitcase and run?
HC: Can we expect the tone to change in the coming days?
Dar: The Russian media has played this very intelligently, they are making it seem like the Russians are ready for peaceful negotiations, while the Ukrainians are hell-bent on waging war. There is nothing further from the truth than this. We are peaceful people, and want nothing to with Russia. Their invasion has disrupted our land, social landscape, economy, and completely devastated life as we knew it. They bombed-out cities, our villages, killing children. A peace talk for Russia essentially entails Ukraine giving up our land and joining the Russian Federation.
The world has not seen such type of megalomaniacal expansionist ideas since 1945. How can you expect the people of Ukraine to stand down and lose everything they own, just so an oppressive dictator can fuel his egoistic goals? My understanding is that this war is not good for anyone, not even for the Russian oligarchy. The economic disruption is worldwide and also for Russia.
Yes, oil prices are at an all-time high, and the EU depends greatly on Russian gas, but can the massive loss of life be justified for the economic gain for a handful of people? If you refer to Yuval Noah Harari's article in the Guardian, he says "The Russians may still conquer the whole of Ukraine. But to win the war, the Russians would have to hold Ukraine, and they can do that only if the Ukrainian people let them. This seems increasingly unlikely to happen." This could become a long-drawn-out war, where the civilians of Ukraine will not allow Putin to create a puppet government as he did in Crimea. The only way things will get better is if Putin accepts this defeat and retracts the army back to Russia.
HC: What we are hearing from several new reports is that the war has brought communities together, women and the elderly are picking up arms to defend their country. Are they receiving any help?
Dar: There have been some incredible stories coming out of Ukraine. The resilience and bravado of the Ukrainian people are being celebrated across the world. Videos and stories of elderly people standing up to tanks and armed soldiers have been celebrated, as they create a sense of hope, a hope that individual human beings have the power to stand up against oppressive regimes. While these images and thoughts are being romanticized by people across the world doom scrolling through their news feeds, we must not forget that these are real people, who have lost everything. They are 60/70-year-old grandmothers and grandfathers who have been left without a choice but to leave their home and stand outside in freezing cold temperatures just to protect their loved ones. While the military is trying their best to help them and set up organised protection of the city, it's really challenging. As the Russian army is much larger and much better equipped. But the spirit that fights for its freedom, can never be broken. The light will overtake the darkness.