Fathers do it, uncles do it, brothers do it, friends do it, acquaintances do it, even strangers can’t hold back from giving their unsolicited explanations for things. If I had a rupee for every single time I have been mansplained something, well…I would be far away on an island typing this story, not working from home. Mansplaining is the act of being condescendingly spoken down to and being explained something to in a way that the man you’re speaking with can’t believe you have some knowledge about what they’re discussing. Not only me, every woman or queer person I know has been the target of this annoyance, and to be honest, we’re all tired of it *cue eye-roll*.
A 2017 study by international research, data and analytics group YouGov Omnibus showed that 80 per cent of Indian women have experienced mansplaining, with one in four women saying that they’re been victims of it ‘often’. The culprits, according to 32 per cent of women, are their male friends. The other mansplainers are senior male colleagues who rank second with 31 per cent, partners who came in at 30 per cent, and men on social media who clocked in 27 per cent of the vote.
Infuriated? You should be. To figure out more about how women have been mansplained, we reached out to a random group of women across all age groups to share some random bits of information that they’d been mansplained. The answers may surprise and the very least, irritate you.
Raina Roy*, 21 years old, journalism student
“The IT person at my college would not stop talking to me in a patronizing manner when I complained to him about the library computer being slow. ‘Have you tried putting the switch on and off?’ was his only response.”
Prerna Sharma*, 24 years old, medical intern
“A colleague of mine (non-medical staff) at the hospital where I was interning in Mumbai actually tried to convince me that using a cloth pad was better than using a menstrual cup. He had no consideration for the fact that I was the menstruator and kept trying to talk me into switching. To be clear, picking your menstrual hygiene supplies is a personal choice and should never be up for judgement!”
Dhara Shah*, 33 years old, financial analyst
“I was interviewing someone to join my team at my previous firm and when I inquired about how he was a team player, he replied by saying he doesn’t like teaming up with women. ‘Their moms call them at 6pm to come home because it isn’t safe for women at night,’ he added. He further went on to explain that women’s safety shouldn’t be a ‘concern’ and that ‘everyone is always safe.’
Maitreyee Raje, 34 years old, product development head
“When I started working in India after moving back from the States, I realised that older men in a meeting will only respond to the other men in the room, even if you’re the one responding to them. When I was explaining the concept of a product to them, they either looked through me or on the days that they didn’t, tried to explain my idea to me.”
Anamika Shaikh*, 36 years old, assistant cinematographer
“I have been working in films for the last 10 years and still, every time I try to operate the camera, I’m told by male colleagues that I should get some assistance. They try to make me ‘understand’ that women can ask for help without any ‘shame’. I have a feeling, no one would question a man about his capabilities if he was in my position.”
Arna Agarwal*, 40 years old, advocate
“I remember when I had just started working full-time in a law firm, my uncle wouldn’t stop telling people I was a lawyer. Despite me correcting him a hundred times and telling him I was an advocate and actually had some work experience, he just chalked it all up to ‘Kuch toh law ka karti ho!”
Riya Mehta*, 46 years old, talent management agent
“Even though I have worked in the talent management space for about 12 years now, I still have to deal with heads of brands (men) trying to patronise me when it comes to contracts. They try to ‘educate’ me about the clauses even though I am very well aware of them, thanks very much! They otherwise go over my head and reach out to actors directly because they feel like I won’t be able to convey their vision clearly.”
*names changed on request